Fat!
Fat!
Fat!Looking back on these images makes me sick.. I was unhealthy..Eating my feelings and letting myself go!
How could i do that?
What would've drove me to forget about myself?
A guy.
When people "Fall in love" You eventually let yourself get completely "comfortable" with this person and you are content.. you quit trying to impress them and you just act like yourself and just stop caring...Actually no, People don't normally do that. I did that!
I thought oh whatever he will "Always" Love me..Because that's what he said, right? No, wrong! I never even realized i was slipping into the FAT! Until after everything i thought was "Mine Forever" was gone..Just like that.. He moved on a month later with a Tall,Skinny,Blondie. Figures right? Everything I'm not..Short, Brown,and fat. I have never forgave myself for getting so tied up in a guy at 15.. Have you ever heard the song "Fifteen By: Taylor Swift?" She mentions how she just didn't know any better at fifteen and of course i didn't know any better but i still hate myself for it.. I didn't just hurt my heart but my pride, Confidence, and now pictures are painful memories of what i let myself get to. Maybe that's why i have problems being in relationships now? I'm scared to let myself go.. I afraid of myself.
I don't wanna be Fat. I went to the beach and took pictures with my friend..I feel like I'm getting fat again..I will literally force myself to not eat two meals for that. "I don't deserve food if I'm fat." is what I'll tell myself..Even though i know that's worse than being overweight..but its all mental.. I just wanna Be Tall,Skinny, and Beautiful.
You were beautiful. You were definitely not fat and surely are NOT now. XO
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