1/25/14

In a blink

It's 2014.
I never really took the time to look over my 2013 and here we are almost into our second month of a new year.

I can say that SO MUCH HAS CHANGED!

For one, I'm in my second semester of college. I can not believe I'm already in college and participating in the studio production class, while being a part of Commodore Productions as a reporter. This means in 2013, I graduated High School, left everything I had ever known and started college. Which i didn't technically leave home, but i did start living a completely different life.

Secondly, I'm a MANAGER! I started a part time job as a cashier at my (not so local) Target. The job was something to get my mind off of all the change that was happening around me and since I'm not really good with change I knew I had to keep myself busy as a bee, and that I did.
 Six months later I'm a manager. 

Both of these big changes have done a lot of good in my life and I'm extremely blessed. 
However, this last year went by entirely too fast and I think I found a way to make a year go by slowly and that's learning new things! If you do the same things all the time, life is going to go by in a blink. But if you take your time trying to learn something new, maybe it wont go by as fast.

Just a thought,
Taylor

1/21/14

Here I am.

I've been in love with writing for as long as I can remember, the idea of being a publisher of a local News Paper, can make me smile from ear to ear!

I got away from that this past year, I lost who I was and what really made me happy, somewhere between trying to impress people and losing who I really am. 
So, Here I am.
I'm sitting on my bedroom floor listening to music, getting prepared for my night of working and taking "Me" time. 
What makes people change? 
For me, it's my desire to please people. Every friend I've ever had I would accommodate to what THEY enjoy and I would do that because I value friendships, mainly because in the past year I realized in the simple blink of an eye everything you've ever known can change. Go ahead, read the very first post I posted.. or even the ones i posted right before i just stopped blogging because I always thought "No body cares what you have to say" and you know that might be true. I don't always post amazing pictures or have interesting stories, but I write for ME and that's all that matter. I write to better myself, to get things out when i need to vent instead of having someone be my sound board. That's what I can call this.. "My sound board!" Blogging has always been my escape. I had someone who was once so dear to me, I didn't think I could live without him.. Here I am, living. I once had friends i thought had my back over everyone else, but where did they go? I know GOD has always been here, even when I was at parties, drinking, trying to be COOL. 
My family, they're always going to be here. Even though I've had temptation to just leave them, thinking they're the ones who let me down, because I thought I wasn't getting the support I deserved.. Well guess what, they're my BIGGEST fans and I wouldn't trade them for the world.

Just another love note of rambling, eventually I'll make my point.

Love,

Taylor

1/19/14

The Truth.

How many times have we been told "The Truth hurts!" I can honestly say I've heard more then 500 + times in my life.

Here I am, enjoying my life going day by day thinking I'm doing everything right. I mean, I'm passing my classes, I'm working really hard at my job, what more could I do?!

How about go to church Taylor?
I have been going to church since I was a baby, as long as I can remember I've sat in a church pew on Sundays and Wednesdays listening to sermon after sermon, but how much of the Bible do I actually know?
How much do I know about how falling into the world, and it could be more dangerous to my soul and my heart. I've went TWO MONTHS without going to church. Not only was I not in church, but I was living of the world. Doing things for the attention of the wrong people. Hanging around people in situations i knew would end badly. Thursday I walked into my college cafeteria and they were having a club fair, I noticed several booths all in a circle and one caught my eye it was the BCM booth where a familiar face was sitting, i walked over with my friends and we started talking to the guy at the booth. I didn't know what BCM stood for and i wasn't even really that interested I just wanted to say hi to an old friend. He immediately handed us all cards it explained what the group was and what BCM stood for,(Baptist College Ministries) He handed my friends and I this card I immediately noticed the reactions of my friends and seen their faces. Some were almost insulted at the invite to join a christian club and then i froze. What have I been doing? Who have I been hanging around that could mold my mind? Of course I love my friends, but are they really good for me?
I'm challenging myself quite a bit by changing my routines. I need to take some "Me" time and figure out what God wants from me in life and stop being so selfish and enjoying the things of the world.

Love,

1/18/14

In the end.

I never blog anymore, I was at work today and thought.
"Hmm it's been at least a year and a half since I actually posted something in my blog. Since I've read every blog that would make me happy." 

Lately, I have been feeling overwhelmed. I work a full time job, and I'm enrolled in my local state college full time. More people have done more than that at a time and they've been extremely successful, some make it look like it's super easy and I'm extremely envious! I however have had it really easy until now, I've noticed that I must enjoy pushing myself to my maximum level because I'm constantly doing it! I always push something to the side with that. I'm going to challenge myself to continue writing in my blog! Of course it wont be every day, but maybe enough to just have a place and vent and let everything out. I don't know who follows this, or who actually reads my post but at the moment I'm not searching for followers as much as just having a place to vent my frustrations and situations. My blog before was a sixteen/seventeen year old girl who was going through normal high school problems. Hearts Break, Mom arguments. Here I am now, nineteen years old, College and Target have became my priorities when all I want is to reach back in the past and find the good things about my High School experience and blend them with who I am now.

So, here goes nothing.
Love,